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"So, we're at the beach now, Leysritt..."  Ilyasviel looked around, she was in a one-piece blue swimsuit and sandals.  "So..."  She looked at her maids, both of whom were in bikinis, which was a little weird, considering it was still technically winter, then again, there was no snow nor ice on the ground, so.  "...What's wrong?"

"There were no speedos big enough for Berserker."  Sella pouted as she looked at the black giant, who was carrying all of the supplies to the beach for them.  He wasn't wearing anything different, though his usual warrior pants were somehow looking like a pair of black swimming trunks.

Ilyasviel and Sella both slapped their palms against their foreheads and sighed heavily.  "Leysritt, we're here, so..."  Ilyasviel looked around, it was a bit chilly out, but it was still fairly warm.  "What do we do now?"

"Cannonball!"  Leysritt grinned and ran towards the water before jumping and pulling her knees up to her chest and landing in the water, causing a fairly big splash.  The maid popped out of the water and waved to the other three at the shore.  "Come on in!  The water's a little cold, but it's fun!"

Ilyasviel narrowed her eyes and turned to her Servant.  "Berserker."  The giant grunted and looked at her.  "Do a cannonball with all your might."

The black giant let out a ear-splitting roar and raced to the edge of the water before jumping high into the air and mimicking Leysritt as he pulled his knees up to his chest before crashing into the water.

Both Ilyasviel and Sella watched as the water at the shore was pulled out to sea, dragging several things with it, including Leysritt, as the water seemingly began to roll over itself.  "Um..."  Sella realized something as the water started to rise upwards, without regards of stopping.  "Perhaps we should..."

She trailed off as a wave that had to be at least four times as tall as Berseker shot up and came crashing down on top of the two of them.  When the wave abated, both Ilyasviel and Sella found themselves sitting in a small indention in the sand, water pooling around them.  "...You've got something on your head."  Ilyasviel reached up and plucked a long piece of seaweed off of Sella's face.

"Yes, and we've been here now, can we go..."  Sella trailed off as she looked around and sighed as she saw Leysritt stuck in the sand, her rear end sticking out as she wiggled her hips while trying to get out of the sand.  "I think I should help Leysritt out."

"Yes, do that."  Ilyasviel rubbed her forehead, who knew that going to the beach was such a bad idea?

So, why was she having a hard time keeping her lips from turning upwards?

Berserker grunted as he walked up to Ilyasviel.  His master turned to him, but before anything could be said, there was a loud tearing sound that filled the air.  Turning, both Berserker and the dark skinned girl could only stare as Sella had torn Leysritt's bottom off of her, leaving her rear end completely exposed to the world.

"Berserker, will you...  Get Leysritt out of there, please?"

Even as Berserker went over to grab Leysritt's legs and pull her out of the sand, Ilyasviel rubbed her forehead and sighed in exasperation.

Still, why was she fighting the urge to laugh?  It wasn't that funny after all.


"Sempai..."  Sakura smiled uneasily as she saw Shirou and Saber walking to the school.  "Um..."

"I shall see you later, Shirou."  Saber said curtly and walked off, ignoring the stares she was getting from the others at the school.

Sakura was about to wave to Shirou when Issei walked up behind him and asked him about Saber.  Well, it wasn't like Shirou was going to reveal the secrets of the war to people who had no idea what was going on, and besides, she could slip him the book later.

Looking around, she frowned to herself, she hadn't seen nor heard of her brother all day.  'I hope nii-san's okay.'


Shinji sneezed and groaned in pain.  "Hurts..."

"Really?"  An amused female voice spoke up, getting a scream from Shinji, who jumped and spun in mid-air, only to land on his ass, eliciting an even louder scream of pain from the wannabe magus.  "I was a lot nicer to you than you were to others."

Shinji grimaced and gingerly stood up.  "That...  Archerko!  How dare you?!"

"Master...  I'm an Archer-class Servant, if I don't want to, I don't have to listen to what you tell me."  Shinji's eyes widened as Archerko walked up to him and lifted him up.  "But I follow your orders because you amuse me, nothing more."  She snorted at his look of anger.  "Listen, worm," narrowing her eyes at him, she brought him close to her face, "you fancy yourself a magus?  You think that you're powerful because I'm here?  You think that you understand anything about the world?"  Letting go, Archerko pushed him away from her and turned around to walk away.  "If you were smart, Master," she sneered at him, "you'd do well to remember that right now, despite how terrifying he is, your grandfather is keeping you protected from the rest of the world."

Shinji could only tremble in anger as Archerko disappeared in front of him.  "Damn you!"


Sighing, Saber looked at the mountain in the distance and narrowed her eyes, for some reason, she felt that there was something calling to her from there.  But she could wait.  She'd talk to Shirou later and tell him about what she was feeling.


Ilyasviel sighed as she finally returned to the mansion and walked off to her room silently.

Leysritt pouted and looked at Sella.  "Is she mad at me?  I don't know what I did wrong."

"I think it had something to do with the police officers asking us to leave after you walked around on the beach without a swimsuit for thirty minutes."  Sella looked at the other Homunculus flatly.  "But I might be wrong."

Leysritt just blinked in confusion.  "But why would people kick us off for running around naked?  There's nothing wrong with that, right?"

Sella frowned lightly.  "I...  Am not sure.  Perhaps it is something we should ask Ilya-sama if we see her again."

"Hmm, maybe."  Leysritt shrugged and walked to her room.  "I'm going to go get dressed, I'm a little cold."

"Well, maybe you should have worn a towel from the beach back here."  Sella pointed out to Leysritt.  "Of course, that's just a suggestion."

Leysritt looked down and nodded.  "Well, I suppose so, yes, I will apologize to Ilyasviel-sama for not putting a towel on after we got kicked off the beach."

Sella looked at Berserker as he formed in the room.  "...How come you didn't chase the police off?"  Berserker just grunted and Sella nodded.  "Yes, I suppose that would cause our master more headaches."

In her room, Ilyasviel twitched and the smile that had been threatening to cover her face all day was finally let free.  "That was...  Nice."  Maybe there was something to life other than just trying to kill her family off.

Still...  There was a war going on, and she still had to fight in it.

She would fight, and she would win.
Long time no update, huh? Sorry for the delay, real life started beating me stupid. :(

Still, that's no real excuse, but I was just unmotivated to write for the past couple of months on this story.

Don't worry, I do have the story planned out, I have the outline, I just need to implement it.
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TreantBalewood Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
Wanted to say thanks for writing I'm really enjoying this. Can't wait to see what Medea's master does no one better then him to inject alittle chaos into things
neogoki Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
not funny at all? Illya needs to see some TV or discover Youtube

Shinji-bashing YAY!

it is offical, Einzbern-Homuculi badly need some lessons on common-sense, maybe Illya should kidnap Rin for lessons
SilverScarCat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Ilyasviel is trying not to laugh, she's trying to be a Magus, after all. XD

Of course! But, don't worry, I have plans for Shinji-bashing. :XD:

Of course they do! It's not as funny if they don't. XD
neogoki Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
so? a big scary Witch needs to laugh at the puny Heroes she crushed beneath her heel, and getting a rise from these antics would be natural. and laughing is good for the body!

will it include a pipe, wires and a Russian Bear?

teaching them Commonsense might be even funnier, all the ways they could get that wrong
SilverScarCat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
yeah, but Kuro-Ilya doesn't know that yet. XP

Nah, just some more stuff. XD

True, but you have to show that they lack the common sense in the first place.
neogoki Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
time to introduce her to 4Chan


so take them to town on a date
SilverScarCat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
That would traumatize the poor girl.

Yes, more fun with Shinji. *Grin*

ha ha ha! Oh dear, that would be funny. No, even funnier, Shirou's on a date with Ilya and Ilyasviel and Sella and Leysritt are following. XD
neogoki Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
might be good for her... maybe?


why not?
SilverScarCat Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
I dunno...

Heh, well, I have my reasons. :XD: Besides tormenting him, I mean. XP

Heh, I need to get there.
(1 Reply)
mega1987 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Hercules cannonball?


*Cue we got Odin and Val surfing at the giant waves generated from the said cannonball. Using Curry and Doggie - er Ciel and Lancer as the surf board.*

Saber in a school outfit...

Fund it!!!!
MWkillkenny84 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Berserker... at a beach... doing a CANNONBALL?!?
And no tsunamis?
Poor beach.
Vote: 10+++
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